desktop computer, finally in my room.

if i have to sum up anybody's life, including mines, in three words it probably has to be: IT GOES ON. the conflict that i had with a good friend this week was a big slap on the face. that even if every hour, second, and days are never time wise changing, it still seems like it's going faster. honestly, i feel like a 30 year old stuck in a 15 year olds body. i think too hard over almost everything and anything. maybe i'm too straight to the point, too precise and indecisive at the same time. some friendships now and days are just a one way street: one paying more attention to the other because they care. just once, i wish i can find someone to talk to and will actually relate to me 100% . not in a way where they HAVE to go through what i'm going through but in a sense where they'll give their undivided attention into listening and giving the most heart warming advice like how would to them. yet, very clearly, too many people are constantly still wanting to be somebody when everybody else is trying to do the same thing never paying attention to what's around them. it's a senseless cycle. trying to find somebody, anybody, who you can connect with is getting more difficult each day. school is hardest as it's ever been, there's too many people who just don't care about anything anymore, and to make matters worse, i've lost one of the most important person who ever can into my life. mentally; alone is the precise word. i need a change.

CARPE DIEM.

since the last concert attended, i've been nothing but restless getting no more than five hours of sleep on weekdays. for the most part, the constant work has been pretty productive. the work in school has been dreadful and rambunctious. i never thought i'd hate a teacher so much til mr lopez came in. in my defense, i didn't deserve that C. i don't think it's highly even possible to have someone who was an A+ student in english freshman year then drop to that grade when in sophomore. ridiculous. on top of that, AP world history and chemistry honors is kicking my ass.

set aside education. minor misunderstanding finally solved after a weeksworth of tension. i'm also pretty happy that the parental units and i haven't argued all that much. i hardly don't fight with my mom all that much to begin with, but me and my dad has clearly improved our relationship. planning out my soon to be seven year old brothers' birthday party has gathered up the family a little better. in addition to the hectic schedule came volunteering three to four hours at a rec center every tuesdays and wednesday. i'm glad they don't have me penciled in this week. it tires me out but it gives a good feeling at the end of the day. the kids are adorable. the extra shift i had to do friday night from six to ten PM last friday for kids night was the icing on the cake. after that, i finally got to relax for my labor day weekend and managing to get 12 hours of sleep.