S is for summer. and also SOS

you actually have to know exactly what i'm going through to understand word for word of what's happening around me. but this summer has been sucking butt for the most part.

my dad is being ABSURD. it's ridiculous ! he doesn't even have to be talking to me to get me mad. that's how bad of a vibe he is. the nerve of him talking about people here and there like he owns the place. one word: KARMA him being the way he is and being ridiculous is so contagious, it's rubbing off on my mom. i need an explaination on why i even need to keep asking him for certain things and to be able to do certain stuff when all that ever comes out of his mouth is negative comments. there's really no point in sticking up for myself or saying what my opinions are in this house anymore. they always get the last word of everything. my apologies for getting an almost straight B's in my report card. at least i TRY ! though i don't think anybody knows what that word really means around here. of course, lets just stick a big stamp on his forhead with the word JEROME on it 'cause clearly, it's his favorite kid. i love my brother, i truly do, but what the heck? he gets a C average grade as his 1st grader final report card and nothing drastic every happend to him two weeks before that, he even got two nintendo DSgames both worth atleast 30 bucks each. and all i ask for is a very clear NO YELLING AT ME explanation on why they say certain things to me like i'm this big failure to them and especially him. i don't think he's ever really happy for what under his nose. i could be absolutely wrong about him and not know it but as of write now, i'm wrting i'm i'm seeing and it's not pretty.

let the concerts i'm attending next month clear my head and distract me, please. it's my only decent get away from all the crud that's been getting poured on me. i love my family REALLY. whether anyone believes me or not but having this whole dillema doesn't make me very comfortable. whenever i try to even talk to my mom about this, she just looks at me as someone who's complaining and doesn't appreciate things when i DO. maybe she doesnt. i've known my mom to be stubborn when it comes to situation like this. she puts a hard front that i don't think i ever really managed to break through. but what am i suppose to do ? just take in all the put downs and demands my dad gives me ? NO. i hate messing up, i hate getting in trouble but it's all the stuff happening around him is just building up more and more. not to mention my classes for sophmore year might get all jumbled up AND i'm barely halfway done with my APhomework.

i need a therapist. SHRINK.